Thick as Thieves Excerpt

Madd could escape neither the barbarian’s stench nor the pain rattling inside his skull from being bounced up and down on the man’s shoulder like a sack of ill-gotten loot. Both threatened to bring his stomach up through his gullet. Beating his fists against the brute’s solidly muscled back only left his hands bruised and inspired a tighter grip across his legs. Out of respect for possible pursuers, he’d been cooperative in not struggling or yelling until now, but at the pace the blond barbarian was running, they’d outdistanced even the hounds.

“Put me down, you son of a she-ox!”

“Quiet,” grunted the brute. What was his name? Virgil? Vogull? “The Baron’s men are probably chasing us.”

“I think we’ve got enough forest between us and them for you to set me on my feet. I have two legs… I can walk!”

“You couldn’t even stand before.” That said, Vorgell—yes, that was it—stopped running and, putting his immense hands on his captive’s waist instead of his thighs, lifted him down. A long way down.

Madd’s legs, numbed by the tight hold on them, immediately buckled, and he lurched against his rescuer. Vorgell reached a brawny arm out to pull him tight against his towering body packed with muscle so dense Madd felt as though he’d just slammed against granite.

“What’s your name?” Vorgell helped him stagger forward until the blood returned to his limbs. “You might as well tell me. I already know you’re a blighted sorcerer.”

“Maddog. Madd will do.” His name was little enough to share, and the man could have left him to the soldiers—or the baron. Even the ringing in his ears and the pounding pain in his head was not too great a payment for getting away from that man.

“Here, sit down.” They’d come to a clearing thick with fallen moss-covered tree trunks. Vorgell helped ease him down onto one of the logs. “You took a nasty blow.”

“Why help me?”

Vorgell’s lips, the lower bloodied and swollen, slowly parted over large, white teeth. There was no mistaking the bulge in his trousers, or the sloppy, tattered fabric stretched over that twitching snake.

Madd groaned. “Fuck me, you’ve got to be kidding.” His head hurt, magic-laced blood tainted his mouth, and this man was suggesting he might want to ride a unicorn-enhanced stiff prick?

“It’s not my fault you’re pretty, and small—”

“I’m not small,” Madd pointed out, that being something of a sore point. “I only look small because you’re huge!”

“Which puts me at an advantage. Among my people, you’d be one of the men who keep men like me happy.”

Madd knew well enough what that meant. He’d been keeping the baron happy for months. Unfortunately, his attempt at reversing the screwing, so to speak, had not quite worked out as planned. Sure, he’d ended up in a cell and plotted a clever escape, but all that had gotten him was the company of a sex-crazed barbarian and the man’s impossibly large and erect cock, which Vorgell had freed of its tattered coverings and was displaying to him in all its glory. His tongue went silent as he stared. That cock might be a monster, but it was also magnificent… rosy, long, and thick, with a luscious, big head poking free of the foreskin and glistening like the jewel on a scepter. The only way that knob could be any shinier would be if he’d been licking it.

He was utterly mesmerized; it came as a shock to hear Vorgell still speaking to him earnestly.

“You don’t know what it was like, carrying you, feeling you all warm and nice, and the whole time all I could think about was your sweet bobbing ass. I don’t even like magic users, not usually. But you completely enthrall me. I can’t fight it anymore. Take your clothes off, or I’ll—”

“Keep your hands off my clothes!” He yanked his straw-flecked cloak tight to his body. “And you’re not getting that thing anywhere near my ass!”

“I don’t think you can stop me.” Vorgell lunged, and Madd dove headfirst off the fallen log and into a hollow filled with last season’s crumbling leaves. He barely registered the barbarian’s babble. He was frantically searching the surrounding trees, trying to find a moon oak. “You’re too little to overpower me, and I overheard the baron’s mages saying magic wouldn’t work on me, because of the unicorn horn in my blood.”

Screw me, he’s right. The giant stood over him, lust burning in his eyes. His cock dripped so heavily it looked as if he were watering the forest floor. Madd narrowed his gaze and muttered a spell. Maybe he couldn’t work magic on the unicorn-crazed oaf, but he could damn well enchant a tree.

With a resounding crack, a jug-sized burl broke from the trunk of a nearby moon oak and flew through the air. It cracked just as loudly when it slammed into Vorgell’s head. The big man blinked, staggered three steps—an amazing feat, considering—then dropped in a heap.

Madd rose, brushing leaves and litter from his cloak, and pondered his fallen nemesis. Vorgell was still breathing and, given the magic in his blood, would recover quickly. Until then… yes, Vorgell’s cock was still at full mast. Madd smiled. He could definitely do something with that, but he would have to be careful. Magic, even in the form of a lusty and beautiful cock, could be dangerous.
Tentatively, he reached out and grasped the barbarian’s enormous prick. Vorgell’s shaft was hot and dangerously enticing: a pole of steel sheathed in rosy skin. Madd tried but couldn’t quite close his fingers around the thing.

Had the man seriously wanted him to take this in his ass? Just the thought was painful. Madd frowned and squeezed. In this state, Vorgell could batter down a city wall. Iron was not as hard. Right now the shaft in his hand was also slick from prolonged excitement, leaking juices that wetted his palm. He smirked. If the stupid baron hadn’t employed such inept wizards, he would have known the oaf was literally overflowing with free magic.

It was unfair, really, that a rude barbarian should have such a gorgeous prick. Madd began stroking, teasing eager pearls of precome from the one-eyed beast. He gathered the drops with his fingers, slicked them over the head and down the shaft, and stroked some more. His breathing quickened. It had been a while since he’d actually looked forward to sucking a man. Too bad he needed to work quickly. If Vorgell woke up with this boner, Madd’s ass was as good as skewered.

It wasn’t easy, but before Vorgell could twitch and groan his way toward lucidity, Madd had secured the big man’s wrists and ankles using vines he’d reinforced with handfuls of magic pre-come. He’d also done himself a favor by removing Vorgell’s stinky trousers. The barbarian now looked even more impressive, a glorious nude tableau of muscle and sex.

“Aw, hell, Madd—” Vorgell squinted at him, head tilted with pain. Then he groaned as Madd, who’d hunkered down between his spread legs, resumed pumping his slick, hard member.

“I believe your last thought was of turning my ass into some kind of happy little burrow for your oversized dragon.”

“Well, I’ve got to fuck something, Madd. And would you stop that? You’re not helping.”

“Correction. I am helping, I’m helping us both. And just to prove what a great guy I am, I’m doing this part while you’re conscious, so you get something out of it too. Just don’t bellow, all right? We’re on the run, not having a tryst.” Madd reached up and shoved Vorgell’s twisted loincloth into the big man’s mouth.

Settling back between those immense spread legs, he licked his lips. Time for some magic.

Propping on elbows and bound wrists, Vorgell lifted his head just in time to watch his cockhead vanish between Madd’s sweet rosy lips. Heat enveloped the tip of his aching organ, and he battled a grateful groan. Those supple, pillowy lips were everything he’d dreamed of while carrying off the young man. Better yet, Madd’s tongue was boldly taking charge of his knob, sweeping it, licking it, and driving him completely out of his head with pleasure.

By the howls of the Great Wolf’s bitch, how he loved being sucked! Need hammered in his veins, all his blood leaping and dashing to his overjoyed cock. 
Throwing back his head, he glimpsed the sun through the trees and thanked the gods again. Ever since he’d fucked the damned unicorn’s horn, he’d been consumed by lust. He’d even tried to mount a couple of the soldiers who’d found him, but that had only led to him being trussed like a hog and dropped at the baron’s feet. It was his own strange brand of luck that the baron, upon seeing his raging erection, had decided to throw him into the tower with Madd.

And now Madd’s slurping and sucking had him teetering on the edge. He wanted… no, he needed to tangle his fingers in the youth’s thick black hair, hold Madd’s mouth to his groin and fuck the brains out the back of his skull. But hard as he struggled to break whatever the little bastard had used to bind him, the best he could do was to plant his feet and flex his thighs. Doing so lifted his hips, offering more of his prick to the other man’s greedy sucking. Madd’s deep hum of pleasure vibrated his flesh and brought his raging juices to a boil… and then a masterful tongue guided him deep until strong muscles enveloped his cockhead and he was pulled by long heavenly swallows down his tormentor’s throat.

Wolf Gods and Ice Harpies! He was being ravished by a he-beast!

Madd reached under to cradle his balls, using skilled fingers to caress the furry sacs in a way that was almost tender. Very pleasant, in fact. Vorgell’s cock thickened and he bit down on his wadded loincloth, swallowing his howl of release as best he could. Spurt after spurt, he shot his juices into Madd’s gulping throat. Each long tug pulled more come from his jerking cock, until Vorgell collapsed on the log, thoroughly drained. Making a face, he spat out the sour and sodden loincloth.

Madd pulled back and released him. “You rest, and I’ll go to work.”

“Work?” he managed between gasps.

“You don’t think I polished your pole out of love, do you? I could have just bitten you again, but I’ll be honest—blood turns my stomach.”

“You mean you wanted my—”

“The juice of your magic mushroom, yes.” Madd stood. Despite his dismissive words, he looked deliciously fucked thanks to rumpled black hair, slightly puffy lips, and dark eyes smudged with sex. Not only that, but a sizable bulge filled his trousers. Vorgell felt a familiar stir in his groin as he yearned to sample the other man’s cock.

He eyed Madd with renewed lust. The little guy looked quite fetching with his black cloak rippling seductively as it drifted off outstretched arms. While Vorgell watched, smitten by every gesture, Madd put his own wrist to his mouth and deliberately nipped the tender skin. As blood dripped from the wound, Madd moved so it fell in fat red drops on the forest floor. He next traced signs in the air and muttered arcane words under his breath. A distortion appeared at the base of one of the oaks. Close to the ground but swirly, with only darkness on the other side, it looked a bit like the entrance to some animal’s den.

“Not bad,” said Vorgell. “What is it?”

“A way out of this forest.”

“Isn’t it rather small?” Vorgell felt a rush of panic. Much as he disliked magic, he was still tied up and could see the little bastard leaving him behind for the baron’s soldiers to find.

“It’s just right. Or at least good enough. It’s not like I do this every day….”

A loud baying interrupted Madd’s defense of his handiwork. “Fuck! Hounds!” He leaped and muttered more words over the bonds on Vorgell’s wrists and feet, helping him yank free of the vines. “Quick, come with me!” Madd half dragged and half pushed Vorgell to the swirly void he’d created. “Go! I’ll follow!”

“Through that little hole, you mean?”


Vorgell could only wedge himself into the space by scrunching his shoulders. He regretted his nakedness as he scrabbled with his legs, doing his best to wriggle through.

“Hurry!” Madd yelled.

“I’m trying!”

Icy walls made of magic raked at his skin and raised the hairs there. Fortunately, the passage was less deep than he was long and he somehow propelled himself to the other side, emerging in a soaked and stinking alleyway. Kicking free of the vortex, he turned around and reached back with both hands into the blackness. Vorgell grabbed Madd by the wrists and hauled him through.

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