Saturday, February 11, 2012

Jupiter's Cock

Every once in a great while I surprise my husband by introducing him to a TV show he actually likes.  For all the things we have in common, my love of fantasy, science fiction and, especially, period shows are not among them.  Doctor Who and Masterpiece Theater, including heavy doses of Shakespeare, are right up my alley but leave my beloved rolling his eyes.  A couple years ago, though, I introduced him to Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

The story of Spartacus has everything I love: hot men in Roman clothing, swords and other ancient tech, conniving villains and hunky heroes, plus lots of luscious pseudo-Roman scenery.  Great stuff, the kind I could eat for every meal.  Not to mention Andy Whitfield (see pic) was hot.  So when I heard about this show, I said, "We have to watch this!"  Because my husband loves me and humors me, and also because I rub his feet and don't say anything unkind while he watches boring things like baseball, we did.

It took only one episode for both of us to fall crazy in love with John Hanna as Batiatus, owner of a school for gladiators.  And why, might you ask, would a completely straight man like my husband fall in love with a TV male?  Because in addition to the profanity of this post's title, the writers for Batiatus gave Hanna great lines like this:
"You have no mother! You were belched from the cunt of the underworld - that's why I favor you!"
"You kiss my cheek, only to finger my ass? Speak, before I carve out your fucking tongue!"
"You shit on honorable agreements and press for fresh demands. Tell me Thracian, how will you pay for her release if found? Hmm? Her transport? Do you shoot magic coins out of your ass? If so, squat and produce!" 
"You counsel to suck on the cock that pisses on me!!!"
"That shit fuck beckons me to the city only to spurn me like a thin waisted whore; once again the gods spread the cheeks and ram cock in fucking ass!"
My husband now has Batiatus wallpaper for his computer and can crow about cock in ass.  It's hilarious, like watching a kid.  And that's the beauty of great dialogue.  It lays open the human psyche and lets all kinds of fun things out to play.

Spartacus had more going for it than just a great actor with wonderful lines.  Lots of nudity, male and female, and plenty of lush sexual situations contribute to the steamy fun.  The show started for another season a couple weeks ago and naturally we're watching.

Alas, though, no more Batiatus.  Hanna's a great loss and already I feel his absence.  I'm not sure how the show will compensate for having killed off such a great and quotable character.  Maybe he'll be around as a ghost, or something.  We're hoping for such a reprieve, though we'll settle for lots more sex and nudity.  And cock in ass.


1 comment:

  1. I've never watched the show but it sure sounds like they made a huge mistake killing this guy off. But then, that's not surprising either, lol.

    ~M

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